I Cried.

I cried myself to sleep last night and that's okay. Our society has plagued our minds to think that only the weak cry, only the weak feel anxious and overwhelmed, only the weak feel sadness. This is not true at all. Why do we try to regulate our feelings to the point where there is no balance. Balance comes with good and bad, yin and yang as they say. We are going to feel negative feelings and emotions (I won't get technical into the differences between feelings and emotions, that's a whole other subject). The more we bottle them up, suppress them, and ignore them, the worse the outcome will be. This is what we have been taught to do thought. Being strong and courageous does not involve only good days with sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. In order to be courageous, there has to be an act of courage and an act of courage involves some adversity. Adversity involves heartache, disappointment, unexpected events, etc. Why wouldn't you feel some negative feelings with adversity? I have learned this simple mantra: "I acknowledge this feeling and I allow myself to experience it in it's fullness." Man, does it feel  good to cry sometimes. The key here is to acknowledge and experience it but not to act on it or linger in it. Be 100% honest with how you are feeling but don't allow the feeling to define you or the situation.

When I was going through depression, the biggest thing I did was hate myself for being depressed and hate the way I felt. That did not help my situation at all. It was a never ending cycle of feeling depressed and then feeling anger because I was depressed, and then feeling more depressed because I didn't want to feel anger. Sounds unreasonable right? But this is what we do in some way. Embrace yourself. Embrace how you feel. Embrace your emotions. You will have sadness in your life, you will cry yourself to sleep at some point. I hear to tell you, it's okay. We are not superhuman.

Here's the light at the end of the tunnel. God understands. God uniquely made us and created us as complex beings that have a variety of feelings and emotions. The key is to delight yourself in Him knowing that when you do cry yourself to sleep, He will lift up your head and remind you of His goodness and mercy. When you are angry and overwhelmed, He will give you peace that surpasses all understanding and remind you that the battle is not yours but His and victory is inevitable. The balance comes in when we acknowledge our feelings and acknowledge who God is. He gives us joy for sadness, strength for weakness, He takes our burdens and lightens our load. The truth of His promises carries us and lifts us up. It tells us its okay to feel this moment of sadness because He has promised me gladness. Remind yourself in a temporary state of negativity that you are not perfect and you're going to feel bad sometimes, but God is greater than any feeling and He will always lift me up out of darkness if I would just look to Him.

I will end with this. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV), Paul says "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Importance

I look around at some of the topics on Facebook and I realize how truly blind people are. Starbucks cup, who did you pray for, etc. etc. It is so disgusting the way the world pretends that it is ignorant to the bigger issues. The enemy comes in to distract you from consciousness. Distraction keeps you from truly tapping in to that deeper self that tells you the real issues to worry about. The end times are at hand. War is coming and instead of worrying about a red cup or butt implants, we should be worried about the state of the world right now. The world is at its demise. Satan's kingdom is at it's end and it is crucial for people to WAKE UP! Realize what is going on. Revelation is here! There are those who will chose consciousness and fight and there are those who will choose to remain lost in Israel. True Christians need to realize that this time is important to open peoples minds to the truth. America has failed at displaying the truth and those who truly seek God can spot the liars in our system. Will you be deceived? Will you be so easily swayed by the enemy? We are at war and not at war against Muslims as the simplest would say but we are at war against evil and deception including the American System. It's time for a Christian uprising where we stand for God wholeheartedly. Sometimes the recent events scare me but i know that is result of the enemy. Fear is not of God. I can stand boldly before any adversary knowing that God has given me the victory. It is too crucial at this point. Look at the world around you and read Revelations. Our mission is not to make it to Heaven but to fight the good fight and honor God with our sacrifice, living as an example as Christ. Giving our lives for the advancement of the kingdom. Our mission as Christians is not to be idol and sit around and wait for Heaven to come, it is to fight in the battle against the enemy. We are warriors of God. This life is not easy. It does not come without conflict.  This s what we are made for so guard yourselves with the armor of God. Put on your breastplate of righteousness and fight. This is our TIME! No more hiding in the darkness. Let your light shine before ALL men. Here we go!

Blame.

It's funny how we are always trying to find a scapegoat. It is everyone else's fault but my own. How we end up at the conclusion that someone else was the cause of something I did is so far beyond me sometimes. It is too easy to displace blame instead of taking responsibility. Have you ever found yourself hiding your disappointment in yourself in anger towards other people? Somehow it is their fault that you failed. Let's get even deeper. Have you ever blamed God for your shortcomings? I know we all have. Free will is both beautiful and a curse. We choose what we want to do whether it is to do God's will or our own will. So when we chose our will, free will does not keep us from the repercussions of our choice. We are guilty when our choices do not turn out how we had hopes and we have to take responsibility for those choices we make. I am learning to pause before I place blame and check myself. When I am angry at someone, what was my role in the situation and am I really just disappointed in myself? Doing this takes a whole lot of humility.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:6 NIV

One thing that I have done in the past is allowed my mistakes and taking on blame to tear me down. I beat myself up a lot. That is exactly what we try to escape when we blame other people. We don't want to feel bad and sometimes we take it too far to the point of depression. That is what the enemy wants. Experiences and mistakes are meant to help us to grow. They are meant to make us humble so that God can get the glory in the end. When we take blame too far, even when we take on the blame ourselves, it brings nothing but distraction; distraction from the growth we could get out of it.

So next time we get ready to point the finger, let's point the finger at ourselves first and evaluate where we went wrong. Let's pray that God teaches us how to follow his will and make the right choices. Let's not beat ourselves up and become angry but be humble in every situation.