Trust (not maybe, ALWAYS)

God and I had a conversation this morning about waiting. I asked God why does it take so long for things to manifest in my life? Why can't it be instantaneous? Why can't I pray for something and the next phone call or knock on the door I get is an answer to my prayers? He said because you don't trust me. Now of course I'm in denial like of course I trust you. His reply was unwavering trust and belief without doubt, worry, or fear. Imagine the things that would happen in our lives if we REALLY trusted God 100% Let's be honest, most of us trust him maybe about 75% maybe even 90% but it's not wholehearted. Let's get brutal, who do you even trust? Do you trust yourself 100%? You know why our trust and faith wavers within and with others, because we haven't learned to trust God wholeheartedly. And when we really look at it, how many of us trust ourselves more than we trust our prayers and petitions to God. We try to make things happen for ourselves all the time instead of stepping out of self and letting God run the show.

Honesty hurts but let's reevaluate where our trust lies. Let's give 100% to God and not fragment our hope between ourselves, other people, and God. Imagine how big our world would be with the endless possibilities of what God can do. He can do so much more than we could ever do on our own. We just have to believe. We have to tear down those walls of mistrust that PEOPLE have placed there. God never did anything to you to make you doubt Him, the world did. God has so much that He wants to give us. He has so many successes for you. You can have it right now, if you trust Him with everything in you. And I mean EVERYTHING within you. Down to the deepest part of your soul.

It seems unobtainable but with time we can all learn to do this. It's second nature to us to worry and doubt (even for a second) but that doesn't mean that bad habits can't change. The first step is to have an honest moment with yourself and see where your trust in God is and admit that you have not trusted Him the way He desires you to. The next step is to consistently confront doubt and worry. We do this by recognizing our doubt and changing our thought pattern to words of trust. "I trust you God. There is nothing I have to worry about."

My prayer is that God fills your heart FULL of trust, love, faith, and all things that are good. He has big plans for you. Just Believe!

Validation.

Who needs to tell you that you are doing okay? That you are making the right decisions? Where does your validation lie? Sometimes it seems like it is not enough for God to say I love you, I forgive you, I trust you to move on. We look for validation from certain people or things. For me, if my parents say that I am doing well, then I believe it. When I tell myself, it seems like a non existent self-validation. Why do we rely on others to make everything better? I have gone through highs and lows. In my high moments, those who I sought to say "good job" were not there but God all along was saying "I believe in you." People hold you to your past and the things you have done. A majority of people have a hard time seeing the good and only complain or point out the bad. Have you ever been in a situation where you were so proud of yourself but here comes "debbie-downer" to point out the one thing you did wrong? Or you try to live in your moment, here and now, and someone reminds you of what you did months before. Sometimes it seems like others hold on to your past more than you do.

I say all that to say, do not look to others to validate you or your actions. Look within. Self-validation is one of the most affective things for your growth. When you let people go and you let the opinion of others go, you can move forward. You know yourself and your walk the best. You know where you stand at this present moment. You should be a bubble in a world of "negative-nancies" and complainers to the point where their words bounce right off of you. In time, they will shut up and realize you don't even care about their opinion.

In the life of an EXTRAordinary person, many things that you do will not make sense to others and you cannot knock them for not understanding. This journey is personal and sometimes it is a secret between you and God. Others do not need to be included, even your parents. Let them go. You are awesome, unique, and your book is a totally different genre from anyone else. Let God validate you. Let God give you the fulfillment you seek. Live inside out not outside in.

I prayed and cried for a good minute tonight because of others negativity but God reassured me that He loves me and knows that my journey is just beginning. His grace abounds and covers all past hurt and defeat. And when others try to hold me down, He lifts my head high and encourages me to keep my eyes on him. When I need a big hug from my heavenly father, He is there and more than able to give me comfort better than anyone else can give me. No one else matters. Just me and my daddy.