When will God fail me?

My car has side view mirrors with small safety (or blind spot) mirrors in the corners. I found myself asking myself today as I drove, I wonder when these mirrors will fail me. Isn't that a silly thought? In all the time I have had my car, I have never had to look over my shoulder and looked in my mirrors to see if my path was clear. The times I chose to look for myself instead of trusting my mirrors, I almost got into an accident. I had the nerve to ask WHEN they were going to fail, like it was an option for them to not work as they are meant to. The only error would be user induced. Can you see where I am going with this analogy? I call these my Peter moments. Let's recall the story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 12:22-33. Peter was brave and daring. He trusted Jesus enough to step out of the boat but when he saw the wind and the waves he became afraid. As believers, when trials come we find our courage in scriptures, prayer, and affirmations but the longer time goes by sometimes fear and doubt sets in. We step out trusting God like Peter did but then eventually we look to the left and to the right and notice the unpaid bills, the tragic death of a family member, the depression you've been dealing with for so long, the unexpected doctor's report, the defiant child and we begin to sink.

The best thing about this story is that Jesus did not let Peter drown, he saved him. Even when we become of little faith and doubt, God is merciful to save us. Peter had to go through it though. It wasn't a story about Peter walked safely and happily to Christ. It was a story of the human journey. Glory to glory and faith to faith has so much in between.

I can't count on my side view mirrors as much as I can trust God but the truth is that God will NEVER fail us. He will never let us drown. It may take some time and it may be painful. You will get tired and your faith may become small. You may become distracted by the storm and lose your sight of Christ. The great thing about grace is that despite the human condition, God will not stop caring for you and bringing you through. I have come to the understanding that EVERYTHING has a purpose and that purpose is not about me, it's about God and his glory. In Matthew 12:33 those in the boat worshipped God and acknowledged that Jesus was truly the Son of God. Everything Peter went through ended with the glory of God.  So that I may be able to say the HE did it and it was not by my will that I have been delivered.

I Cried.

I cried myself to sleep last night and that's okay. Our society has plagued our minds to think that only the weak cry, only the weak feel anxious and overwhelmed, only the weak feel sadness. This is not true at all. Why do we try to regulate our feelings to the point where there is no balance. Balance comes with good and bad, yin and yang as they say. We are going to feel negative feelings and emotions (I won't get technical into the differences between feelings and emotions, that's a whole other subject). The more we bottle them up, suppress them, and ignore them, the worse the outcome will be. This is what we have been taught to do thought. Being strong and courageous does not involve only good days with sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. In order to be courageous, there has to be an act of courage and an act of courage involves some adversity. Adversity involves heartache, disappointment, unexpected events, etc. Why wouldn't you feel some negative feelings with adversity? I have learned this simple mantra: "I acknowledge this feeling and I allow myself to experience it in it's fullness." Man, does it feel  good to cry sometimes. The key here is to acknowledge and experience it but not to act on it or linger in it. Be 100% honest with how you are feeling but don't allow the feeling to define you or the situation.

When I was going through depression, the biggest thing I did was hate myself for being depressed and hate the way I felt. That did not help my situation at all. It was a never ending cycle of feeling depressed and then feeling anger because I was depressed, and then feeling more depressed because I didn't want to feel anger. Sounds unreasonable right? But this is what we do in some way. Embrace yourself. Embrace how you feel. Embrace your emotions. You will have sadness in your life, you will cry yourself to sleep at some point. I hear to tell you, it's okay. We are not superhuman.

Here's the light at the end of the tunnel. God understands. God uniquely made us and created us as complex beings that have a variety of feelings and emotions. The key is to delight yourself in Him knowing that when you do cry yourself to sleep, He will lift up your head and remind you of His goodness and mercy. When you are angry and overwhelmed, He will give you peace that surpasses all understanding and remind you that the battle is not yours but His and victory is inevitable. The balance comes in when we acknowledge our feelings and acknowledge who God is. He gives us joy for sadness, strength for weakness, He takes our burdens and lightens our load. The truth of His promises carries us and lifts us up. It tells us its okay to feel this moment of sadness because He has promised me gladness. Remind yourself in a temporary state of negativity that you are not perfect and you're going to feel bad sometimes, but God is greater than any feeling and He will always lift me up out of darkness if I would just look to Him.

I will end with this. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV), Paul says "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Placement.

When our soul finally awakens, it seems like there are so many areas of improvement you can work on. It can at times be very overwhelming. You faults present themselves like a Christmas dinner laid out right in front of you. I want to encourage you that you are right where you need to be at this very moment. God made us in his image and we are beautifully made. Yes, there are a list of traits that we can improve upon but the fact that we recognize these areas is progress in itself. God placed you in this present moment knowing your faults, your pain, and your hurt. He knows your future is bright. He knows those short-comings will disappear the more you seek Him. It is up to you to love yourself as you are right now. You might be a mess but you are a beautiful mess. When you are working with clay, it is a messy process. It doesn't look like much at first just a grey blob but as the artist works the clay it becomes a masterpiece. You think the statue of David started off looking like that, not at all. Let the Master mold you and make you better. He loves you right now and thinks you are wonderful at this present time. Love yourself. Love the journey. Love the work that is being done in you. Be patient with your growth and stay focused on God. Don't let anyone discourage you. It is easy for others to point out your faults but you know that you are on the path God has for you. You are right where you need to be, in God's hands. Be encouraged.

Importance

I look around at some of the topics on Facebook and I realize how truly blind people are. Starbucks cup, who did you pray for, etc. etc. It is so disgusting the way the world pretends that it is ignorant to the bigger issues. The enemy comes in to distract you from consciousness. Distraction keeps you from truly tapping in to that deeper self that tells you the real issues to worry about. The end times are at hand. War is coming and instead of worrying about a red cup or butt implants, we should be worried about the state of the world right now. The world is at its demise. Satan's kingdom is at it's end and it is crucial for people to WAKE UP! Realize what is going on. Revelation is here! There are those who will chose consciousness and fight and there are those who will choose to remain lost in Israel. True Christians need to realize that this time is important to open peoples minds to the truth. America has failed at displaying the truth and those who truly seek God can spot the liars in our system. Will you be deceived? Will you be so easily swayed by the enemy? We are at war and not at war against Muslims as the simplest would say but we are at war against evil and deception including the American System. It's time for a Christian uprising where we stand for God wholeheartedly. Sometimes the recent events scare me but i know that is result of the enemy. Fear is not of God. I can stand boldly before any adversary knowing that God has given me the victory. It is too crucial at this point. Look at the world around you and read Revelations. Our mission is not to make it to Heaven but to fight the good fight and honor God with our sacrifice, living as an example as Christ. Giving our lives for the advancement of the kingdom. Our mission as Christians is not to be idol and sit around and wait for Heaven to come, it is to fight in the battle against the enemy. We are warriors of God. This life is not easy. It does not come without conflict.  This s what we are made for so guard yourselves with the armor of God. Put on your breastplate of righteousness and fight. This is our TIME! No more hiding in the darkness. Let your light shine before ALL men. Here we go!

Blame.

It's funny how we are always trying to find a scapegoat. It is everyone else's fault but my own. How we end up at the conclusion that someone else was the cause of something I did is so far beyond me sometimes. It is too easy to displace blame instead of taking responsibility. Have you ever found yourself hiding your disappointment in yourself in anger towards other people? Somehow it is their fault that you failed. Let's get even deeper. Have you ever blamed God for your shortcomings? I know we all have. Free will is both beautiful and a curse. We choose what we want to do whether it is to do God's will or our own will. So when we chose our will, free will does not keep us from the repercussions of our choice. We are guilty when our choices do not turn out how we had hopes and we have to take responsibility for those choices we make. I am learning to pause before I place blame and check myself. When I am angry at someone, what was my role in the situation and am I really just disappointed in myself? Doing this takes a whole lot of humility.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:6 NIV

One thing that I have done in the past is allowed my mistakes and taking on blame to tear me down. I beat myself up a lot. That is exactly what we try to escape when we blame other people. We don't want to feel bad and sometimes we take it too far to the point of depression. That is what the enemy wants. Experiences and mistakes are meant to help us to grow. They are meant to make us humble so that God can get the glory in the end. When we take blame too far, even when we take on the blame ourselves, it brings nothing but distraction; distraction from the growth we could get out of it.

So next time we get ready to point the finger, let's point the finger at ourselves first and evaluate where we went wrong. Let's pray that God teaches us how to follow his will and make the right choices. Let's not beat ourselves up and become angry but be humble in every situation.

Prayer

God, I know you are ever present and have you hands over my life. I know that you have great things in store for me.

Help me to be confident in you and trust you even when I do not understand.

Help me to see what is so far beyond me.

Help me to in my times of doubt and disbelief.

Help me when I feel lost and remind me that you are right beside me steering me clear of dangers that I am unaware of.

You are amazing in all of your ways

Thank you for the favor you have place on my life

Thank you for the good times and the bad times

For in everything you are glorified

I am not suffering, I am not in need

You have always provided for me

I am confident that you will provide wisdom and understanding in my time of stillness

Speak to me God

Lead me

Guide me and I will follow

And when the enemy tries to come in like a flood

I will keep my eyes fixed upon you

When the enemy tries to discourage me

i will remind Him the victory is forever yours

Thank you for your love, grace, and mercy

I will hide myself in you

With my face towards the wall I will seek you and only you

For there is no other God but you

In Jesus name, Amen.