One thing that my colleague and I discussed with our youth group was the fact that no one truly cares about your past. Not to say that the people who are close to you and care about you don't care but society does not see your past as an excuse for your actions. A lot of times we like to say "oh I act this way because of my past" or "I did that because of what happened to me before." I am very guilty of doing this. The end all question is what does that have to do with anything really? Using the past as an excuse becomes old after a while. Holding on to past hurt and pain is physically, emotionally, and spiritually tiring. Why do we do it? What is so significant about that event that it is worth our peace of mind. So it happened and it was very unfortunate. Yes you learned from it and became a better person. Why do we have to tell our life tragedies in order to explain who we are?
We are not our past and we are not our misfortunes. Those situations do not define us but how we endured does. The positive side of every hurt is that you made it through. Dwelling on the negative aspects of your life doesn't hurt anybody but you. Acting out emotional connections to the past also destroys the relationships you have or could have with people. Why does someone have to pay for what another person did? They had nothing to do with that situation and were not even there to witness it.
I am speaking also to myself in this post. I am becoming more self-aware that the past does not matter and living in the moment is what God designed us to do. He did not tell us to focus on the past nor the future but embracing His presence in the present. Everything else is His business and for Him to take care of. The scriptures of the Old testament still apply today and God says "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord" Romans 12:19. Now is God going to strike down the person who wronged you with a bolt of lighting, probably not but the point is that we can do nothing about what has already happened and it is not up to us to make others pay for what they did.
A part of Joy, which is eternal not momentary (happiness), is living in the moment, forgetting the past, and trusting God with both the past and the future. A part of recovery from the past is accepting Joy and CHOOSING not to let the past hurt you anymore. I guarantee the person who broke your heart is not thinking about you and moving on with their life while you are sulking on what they did to you. Live life! I am on this journey to live it the way God meant me to live it and to let go of pain and embrace joy, love, and the peace of God.